Ice Age Bloopers!
by ScorpioGirl1987
Summary: Each chapter is a blooper reel from each movie. Rated for mild swearing and crude humor.
1. Ice Age

**Man, the ideas just keep on coming, don't they? Anyway, there will be one chapter for each movie, so enjoy!**

Manny the woolly mammoth marched through the herds, going in the opposite direction. He had an angry expression on his face, then suddenly burst out laughing.

"Sorry!"

"Cut!"

XX

Manny marched through the herds with an angry expression on his face, then started laughing again. "Sorry! I'm not used to this."

The director sighed. "Okay...just think of something that pisses you off. How 'bout that?"

"Okay!"

XXX

The herd walked past Sid's tree and woke him up. Sid yelled out and lost his footing and fell to the ground. "...I'm okay."

XXX

"Look at that cute little baby, Diego." Soto said. "Isn't it nice he'll be joining us for breakfast?"

"It wouldn't be breakfast without him." Diego agreed.

"Especially since his daddy wiped out half our pack and uses are skin-" Soto stepped forward, but stepped too far and almost fell off the ledge. He groaned with embarrassment.

Diego tried hard not to laugh. "Are you okay?"

Soto stood up and glared at Diego. " _You_ won't be if you dare laugh at me again!"

"Okay, okay. Jeez."

XXX

"You got half a stick." Manny snidely said to Sid. He put a log on top of his shelter, which then collapsed. Sid burst out laughing. Manny turned to Sid, holding up a log like a bat. "You really want to laugh at an animal three times your size?"

Sid gulped. "Sorry."

XXX

"Oh, come on, nobody falls asleep that fast! Manny!" Sid yelled. He walked under Manny's tail, lifted it up and wrapped his free arm around himself. Suddenly, Manny let out a huge flatulence. "OH, seriously?!" Sid rushed out, fell to his paws and knees and coughed.

XXX

Sid held Roshan away from him. "Humans are disgusting." Roshan then peed himself. "...Exhibit A."

XXX

"Where's the baby? THERE-" Diego bumped into the camera. "Ooh!" He rubbed his nose as Sid started laughing. Diego growled, then roared, then pounced on Sid, who screamed and peed himself all over Diego, who groaned loudly and backed away, shaking the pee off.

"Well, that's one way to repel a predator." Manny said, chuckling.

XXX

"Now, a meal befitting the conquering hero." Sid said, dramatically. He pushed a tree branch aside, and instead of whacking Sid, it broke off. Everyone laughed.

XXX

"Okay, thanks, you can put me down now." Sid said to Diego, who had Sid in his jaws. Sid struggled to get free, then smiled mischeivously. He plucked out a few of his hairs and gently brushed them against Diego's nostrils.

Diego's eye started twitching. He tried holding his sneeze in, but couldn't. He sneezed Sid out of his mouth and shuddered. Everyone laughed.

XXX

Sid ran to catch up with Manny and Diego and sat on a geysher. "Whew. Thanks for waiting."

"Three, two, one..." Manny and Diego counted. The geysher didn't go off.

"...So much for 'Faithful'." Diego commented.

XXX

The sub-zero heroes walked through a cave filled with drawings. Sid was holding baby Roshan. "Oh, look...uh..."

Sid stood in front of a painting of a yellow saber-tooth tiger, a black mammoth (or is it a mastodon?), a blue triceratops, a red tyrannosaurus rex, and a pink pterodactyl all running together.

"Wow...that's very colorful..."

The director glared at the set artist, who chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry. Couldn't resist."

XXX

The sabers closed in on Manny. Diego walked around between Manny and his pack.

"What are you doing?" Soto asked in dismay.

"I can't. Remember. My line." Diego said in a low voice. Everyone except the director laughed.

The director slapped his forehead. "Un-freaking-believable..."

XXX


	2. Ice Age: The Meltdown

Scrat tries to pull the acorn out of the ice wall. He yanked hard and the top of the acorn came off and Scrat went sailing across the sky, screaming.

XXX

Diego clutched Manny's face when he escaped the melting ice.

"Uh, Diego, retract the claws, please." Manny tapped him with his trunk. Diego didn't move, so Manny tickled his side. Diego growled and swatted at Manny.

"Don't do that!" Diego snapped as Manny laughed.

XXX

Manny, Sid, and Diego slid down the waterslide, but didn't stop until they crashed into the camera.

XXX

" _Someday, when you've gone extinct, when you make a stink.._." Sid started singing.

"Stop singing, Sid." Manny said.

XX

" _If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses-_ "

"How bout I lay _you_ down on a bed of roses?!" Manny snapped.

"Dude, that sounded gay." Diego commented.

XX

" _Dead or aliiiive! Wanted dead or aliiiive_!" Sid sang.

"Sid!" Manny snapped.

XX

" _I ain't gonna live forever! I just wanna live while I'm alive!_ "

"Sid, I'm warning you!" Manny was getting more irritated by the minute.

XX

" _Say live and let die..._ "

"Dammit, Sid!"

XX

" _All these mammoths die so fast, 'cause nothing lasts forever._ "

Manny groaned in frustration.

XX

" _If I die...let me dieeeee._ "

"Seriously, where are you getting all these songs?!" Manny demanded.

XX

" _Let it go! Let it go! The mammoths are gone! Here I stand_ -"

"Running out of songs?" Diego asked.

"Yeah, pretty much..."

XXX

Manny, Ellie, and Diego run across the rocky chasm to the cliff on the other side. Diego yelled as he leapt towards the cliff, but falls before Manny and Ellie could grab his wrists, screaming.

XXX

 **Here's the list of songs Sid sings:**

 **-The Way You Look Tonight**

 **-If I Die Young**

 **-Dead or Alive**

 **-It's My Life**

 **-Live and Let Die**

 **-Here's To Us**

 **-Bring Him Home**

 **-Let It Go**


	3. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

Manny slid on the ice with Crash and Eddie on his head. He didn't stop at the edge and ended up falling over the cliff, screaming.

"Cut! Medic!"

XXX

The gazelle ran away from Diego and turned a corner. Diego slid by off to the side.

"I'm okay." Diego called out.

"Cut!" The director laughed.

XXX

Everyone stood very still as the dinosaur approached their village.

"Nobody. Move. A muscle." Manny instructed. Then a molehog ran by, screaming.

"Not yet, Albert!" The director yelled in frustration.

"Sorry!"

XX

"Nobody. Move. A muscle." Manny instructed. Twenty seconds passed.

"Albert! You missed your cue!" The director shouted.

"Sorry!"

XXX

The herd comes face to face with an ankylosaurus. It roars and turns out to be half Manny's size.

"Seriously?" Manny asked, sarcastically. He grabbed the ankylosaurus by the tail and swung him against a cliff.

XXX

The giant ankylosaurus almost hits Crash and Eddie with its' tail, but Diego grabbed them just in time and slipped and fell off the cliff.

Diego groaned. "This is just not my day, is it?"

XXX

Buck was flung high in the air. He fell as Rudy opened his mouth. Diego missed his cue, so Rudy ended up swallowing Buck.

XX

Buck was flung high in the air as Rudy opened his mouth. Diego caught him, but they were both swallowed by Rudy.

"Seriously?!" Diego yelled in frustration.

"Cut!"

XXX

Sid screamed as Rudy glared down at him, then broke down.

"Ooh. Does this mean we can break for lunch?" Sid asked eagerly.


End file.
